Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
