oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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