Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
