all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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