That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
