dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
