A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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