so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
