my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
