you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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