Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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