Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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