It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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