its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
