Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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