Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
