Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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