it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
