Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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