i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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