I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
