Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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