so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
