Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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