dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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