He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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