party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
