i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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