alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
