I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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