Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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