separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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