spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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