Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
