wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
