he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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