it was like eating out sand paper
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
