The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
