im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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