he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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