You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
