The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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