Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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