Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
