Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
