your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
