is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
