I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
