And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
