escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
