Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Randomize
