Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize