exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
