Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
