I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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