are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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