i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
