She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He kissed a someone with a penis
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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