that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
