He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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