Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
