Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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