I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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