I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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