Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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