i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize