we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize