508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
