he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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