people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
