idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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